SIKE! There is no such thing as the "perfect mom." It's a myth. A fairytale. A hoax.
Being a mom, being a parent, is one of the hardest jobs out there. You are cook, maid, babysitter, physical and emotional support, and butt wiper. And after ALL of this, you are supposed to have time for yourself. Are you kidding me???
After I put my son down to sleep I put dinner away, feed the dogs, and attempt to clean up the living room and kitchen, but sometimes that just doesn't happen. Sometimes I barely have enough energy to get in the shower before I pass out face first into my unmade bed. Sometimes I just want to lay on my couch and do nothing but Netflix and chill by myself.
But that makes me feel guilty. And nothing is worse that mom guilt. It eats you up and makes you feel like you didn't do enough for you kids throughout the day. I know I would constantly ask myself "did I pay enough attention to my son?" or "does he know how loved he is?"
Working full time doesn't help with the mom guilt either. I get up at 5:30 a.m. every day to get myself ready for work. I wake my son Georgie up at 6:15 a.m. to let him go potty (we are finally potty trained!) and get him dressed. Hopefully by this time I have gotten our lunches together, but if not, thats what I'm doing at this point to try and leave the house around 6:30-6:35 a.m. Then I work all day. Some days are easier than others, but working outside on fighter jets all day can be exhausting. By the end of my shift I'm usually covered in aircraft grease. Some days I don't get off of work till 5:30 p.m. and then I still have to drive 30 minutes to pick up my son and then go home and cook and eat dinner when all I want to do is shower and sleep.
I think one of the things I find the most frustrating is when people, especially other moms, judge you for going back to work or becoming a stay at home mom. Either way, you lose in their eyes. If you choose to go back to work, you are choosing to "miss out" on your child's life. If you choose to be a SAHM, you are choosing to have your spouse be the sole breadwinner for the family.
Or they judge your for breastfeeding in public or choosing to formula feed. One, I always chose to feed my baby wherever, whenever, not caring if it made people uncomfortable. If my son was hungry, then he was going to eat. Second, do you know how many moms are unable to breastfeed due to their bodies not producing milk. And do you know how many of those moms feel like crap because of that? I know what that feels like. I started off breastfeeding, but when my husband deployed, my body started stressing out and not producing enough milk. I had to start supplementing with formula and it was like I had found the "cure all" for my son. He was happier, he was gaining weight, and he was finally sleeping through the night! FED IS BEST. End of story.
I'm here to tell you this: FUCK THEM. Who cares what they think?! As long as your kids are happy, healthy, and loved, who gives a shit what some random person thinks!
I am over feeling bad about not doing this or that, or wanting a moment to relax when I get home, even though I just got home and haven't seen my son all day. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of looking at Instagram photos of kids lunch boxes and seeing all the elaborate foods moms are packing their kids lunches with when my son is eating leftovers, again.
I have tried so hard to be comfortable with myself as a mom and step-mom. Every day I try to remind myself that I am a good mom and that my kids know I love them even if I'm not perfect.
If you are looking for and example of a perfect and loving mom, all you have to do is look in the mirror. You are doing amazing and your kids love you and think the world of you. Never doubt yourself and never give up on yourself.